What a joke: “Dalai clique’s conspiracy revealed”

Okay, everyone STOP THE PRESSES. This is big news here, straight from the Chinese Ministry of Public Security, published by China.org.cn (more on this site at the end of the post…):

China’s Ministry of Public Security said on Tuesday that it had gathered sufficient evidence showing that March 14 riots in Lhasa was not isolated or accidental but was part of the “Tibetan People’s Uprising Movement” plotted by the Dalai clique.

Someone should give this guy an award - HE IS THE NEXT SHERLOCK HOLMES!

China.org.cn has published the details of this “groundbreaking” investigation here: Dalai clique’s conspiracy revealed, but keep reading below as we are going to break it down for you.

First, I’d like to point out that much of the content references by the PSB official can be easily found with a few google searches or on pages like this: http://tibetanuprising.org/category/background/. No secret chat rooms, no complicated forums - the site is called “Tibetan Uprising” and the page is called BACKGROUND. Duh. There are photos here: http://www.flickr.com/photos/tibetanuprising/ and you can find that most of the information from their investigation was openly published at Tibetan news site Phayul.com and countless other sites.

What the Chinese government cannot understand is that free people are free to gather, plan and work for change. That not everything is about violence or armed conflict. That what the fully public and transparent “Tibetan People’s Uprising Movement” is doing IS NOT ILLEGAL in most of the world, only within China, and perhaps North Korea, Iran and Zimbabwe. Of course, none of those countries would ever host the Olympics.

So, back to their statement, first they roll out the basic, timeless boilerplates they love to claim as irrefutable fact… since “ancient times”? Are we talking B.C. here?

In the so-called “declaration,” they turned a blind eye to the fact that Tibet has since ancient times been a part of the Chinese territory, claiming that “Tibet and China are two different countries” and “China is not qualified to host the Olympic Games without resolving the Tibet issue”.

Then the fine minister goes on to educate us on the word “uprising”… and again shows that the only lens he and the rest of the Chinese government can see change through is violence…

“The word ‘uprising’ means to overthrow the present regime through armed force and violence. So I’m wondering, is there any country that allows such an ‘uprising’ against the central government? Is there any country that tolerates such activities wantonly instigating the subversion of a state regime?” he said.

now on to their so-called “evidence” of conspiracy inside… they found someone with a COMPUTER who had some DOWNLOADs of WEB PAGES… OMG! Can you believe it? Someone actually went to a webpage that contained ideas that the CCP don’t agree with? Can you imagine?! They really need to increase the sensitivity of their GREAT FIREWALL as it doesn’t seem to be working very well…

Police officers have also found copies of a “Declaration of Tibetan People’s Uprising Movement”; copies of the Dalai Lama’s speech on March 10; pictures of the clique’s members undertaking secessionist activities and computers used to contact officials of the clique’s “government in exile” in the residence of a person who allegedly took place in the riots.

More on that PESKY internet… it actually allows people from around the world to freely communicate. How can that be?! Not only that, there is the Radio too! Whoever runs the radio jamming station is going to be in BIG trouble.

The police have found that the Internet became an important channel for the Dalai clique to release its orders, many parts of the “Declaration of Tibetan People’s Uprising Movement” and action plans. The Dalai clique has found new ways to contact secessionists in Tibet. they would make appointments through telephone and Internet. At the appointed time, they would listen to Tiebtan language programs on the Voice of America, through which they convey instructions from overseas and report latest development inside China.

To close up, they throw out the usually scare tactics and fear mongering…

Intelligence shows that for the next move, the “Tibet independence” separatist forces will send death squads to break into the territory by force, the spokesman said.

and finally the zinger….. the truth that cannot be covered up!

“We firmly believe that lies can never cover up the truth, and that facts will eventually expose the true intention of the Dalai clique to split the country,” he said.

Yes, we are an INDEPENDENCE movement. We are called STUDENTS FOR A FREE TIBET. Have you read our mission statement?

Students for a Free Tibet (SFT) works in solidarity with the Tibetan people in their struggle for freedom and independence….

However, we are part of no CLIQUE, and if we were, it wouldn’t have a silly name like the “DALAI CLIQUE”. In English, that just sounds silly.

Students for a Free Tibet is part of the non-violent Tibetan People’s Uprising Movement which, if you are not within reach of the digital censors of the Chinese government, you can read about freely at http://tibetanuprising.org. We have nothing to hide.

A little bit on China.org.cn, the “authorized government portal site to China”…

The China Internet Information Center offers broad access to up-to-date news about China, with searchable texts of government position papers and a wealth of basic information about Chinese history, politics, economics and culture. The authorized government portal site to China, www.china.org.cn is published under the auspices of the State Council Information Office and the China International Publishing Group in Beijing.

First off, why the heck is this “.ORG”? Shouldn’t it be .GOV or .CO at least? Is this a non-profit or charity? Can you imagine reading news from a site called USA.ORG, and actually taking it seriously?

Second, we tried to post a comment to the news story above, and all we received was a blank page. They are such teases over there… letting you think you might be able to have some open discourse about something, and then yanking it away at the last minute. touché!

This post is the personal opinion, satire and limited humor of the blogger Buckaroo Banzai and may not represent the official views of SFT…but as we are all about FREEDOM then it is FREE to be posted here. Imagine that?